Monday, November 26, 2007

Takes Two To Tango

Of all the get rich quick schemes Ann and I dreamed up, the idea that would have made us rich beyond our wildest imaginations was: The Man Manual.

We wanted to publish a simple, how-to pocket guide designed to help the men in our lives navigate the complexities of a brave, new world.

One where women have jobs (hey!)
Opinions (really?)
And, very little tolerance for stubborn, controlling behavior (whaa??)

It’s rainin’ men around here and not in a good way.

For years, now, one bitter divorcee has clouded our get-togethers with anger and negativity. Then there were two. This year, four. And, that’s what has me most concerned. Because if this mess is growing by exponential numbers, I’m outta here.

Perhaps we should dust off our big idea and publish the Man Manual. It’s the ideal stocking stuffer! WebMD could endorse it as a new way to lower high blood pressure! Oprah could promote it as the saving grace for thousands of guys unwilling to admit they're (at least partially) to blame.

Problem is… it’s a one-page guide, so the leather bound edition might look a little odd:

Say you’re sorry. And, say it with flowers.

Admit when you’re wrong. And, make up for it with flowers.

Here is a break-through concept in the battle of the sexes: If you still love this woman, then knock off the silly games and send her some damn flowers!

Oh, and by the way, if you're thinking of buying an engagement ring this Christmas, don't. A gift of you for the rest of her life might not be nearly as exciting as a thoughtful bouquet of flowers.

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. ~Katharine Hepburn

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

In case you haven't seen it yet, there is a hilarious online magazine called "Happy Woman Magazine" ( that has a very good article on "Men's Secret Thoughts". You should read it as research for your man book.