Thursday, January 11, 2007

As I Lay Dying...

Two things have always perplexed me about exercise classes:
1) Why we even bother.
2) Why we suffer in silence.

I started my new workout routine last week and I seem to be the only one crying out from the back of the room: Hellooo, I'm dyin' here!!!

Your poor house plants are probably saying the same thing. Try to show more compassion than the perky little brat teaching my body sculpt class.

January is torture time for house plants. Low light conditions and dry furnace air creates a miserable environment. Plus, they're probably freezing their little tails off if they're sitting on a cold windowsill when you turn the heat down at night.

Unhappy House Plant Warning Signs:
  • Yellow leaves - Too much light, fertilizer or water.
  • Yellow spots - Dripping water onto the leaves. (Water from below.)
  • Brown leaves - Not enough water.
  • Dry leaves - Lack of humidity.
  • All of the above - R.I.P.
In high plains deserts, like the mountains of the Southwest, house plants love extra humidity. Try a double saucer. Set plants above the water line so moisture can evaporate upward, toward the leaves.

  • The darker green the leaf, the less light a plant generally needs.
  • Most indoor flowering plants do better in cooler temperatures.
* As I Lay Dying is a brilliant novel of human suffering, written by William Faulkner.

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