Monday, November 16, 2015

1 Arm Bandit

Tip: Soak your orchids, once a week, for 30 minutes, with a tsp of basic fertilizer - they'll happily re-bloom.
I wake, wincing in pain. Pop two of the killer pills, fall back onto the bed. Awaiting a miracle and marveling, once again, at how effective painkilling drugs can be.


"I'm all busted up.
Broken bones & nasty cuts.
Accidents will happen,
But, this time I can't get up."
- Green Day

How do those pills know where to go? And, if they are so adept at racing through your body to fix painful problems... why can't we invent one for my badly damaged pride?

Death Bed Tulips from my darling daughter.
Spent the better part of Thursday in the ER. Stitches, pins & needles galore. All because my garage door broke. And, Little Miss Independence, here, thought she could fix it! You know, skip that dang repairman! Save a buck.

Instead, the panels of the garage door snapped together wrecking a perfectly good right hand in the process.

It's Cactus Time! I love this peach color...
Ever been in shock?

I think this was my first time. Panic. Terror. Staring at the bloody mess that used to be my hand. But, the weird thing is I didn't feel any pain. So, I think that's shock but I don't know for sure.

Super fond of the traditional hot pink variety, too.
Thankfully, there is an emergency room two blocks from my house.

I can do this. I said to myself.

I can do this. Repeated it several times. As if talking to myself is some kind reassurance? Words to make this cowardly lioness a wee bit braver?

But, I did it. I wrapped the hand, got in the car, and drove myself to the emergency room, where I stood there shaking and crying and covered in blood.

And, then.

Wait for it.... {and enjoy the massive concern my wee pup feels for my condition.}



Wait... for... it.... {and observe the guilt trip from the lazy arse cat who sleeps 23.5 hours per day.}



The [alleged] doctor took one look at my bloody appendage and says: Oh, this is way too serious for us! You should go to the hospital! Do you know where it is?


WHAT???

Tip: Photograph your groovy flowers in front of a turned off t.v. Makes a great, reflective background.

So much for that Hippocratic Oath.

But, nothin' drags you back into the real world quicker than a lazy, uncaring, unfeeling, medical professional.

Shock be damned, off I went to the real ER where they stitched me back together and told me I'd be as good as new... in another 6 months.


Until then it's just me and the iPad. And, my 4-legged nurse.

Here's hoping you all had a better weekend than me. :)






2 comments:

Rilly said...

oh my gosh...so sorry to hear this and glad it will be good as new eventually. Guess the timing was better than during a busy summer...and thank heavens for pain meds. Love the flowers, Happy Thanksgiving and a speedy recovery. <3

Kathleen Gault said...

Oh! Oweeeee! I am so sorry to hear about your hand! Yikes, as a piano player, I have extra sympathy and concern. If I lived closer I would come make dinner, but I'll just have to send sympathy cybernetically and rejoice at second hand by your possession of excellent pain killers.