Monday, February 12, 2007

Lovers Always

On my wedding day, my brother gave me a beautiful leather bound vintage book, printed in 1899. It was loaded with sage advice on how to stay happily married forever. It didn't work.

Seems like every year around Valentine's Day I'm in the mood to read it again. Especially on a year when I'm pretty sure I won't be getting any flowers.

Tangled Web:
My ex-boyfriend is in Vail with his new gal and my 2 best friends (aka traitors.) It's a romantic double-date Valentines getaway and I suppose I should be mad about that but I'm not. She's a much better catch than I am. She has a rich Daddy, with a condo in Vail. What could be sweeter for a ski bum?

Where is your anger? My Mother used to ask that of me when I was going through my divorce. She wanted me to throw a fit but I just wanted it to be over.

I get angry sometimes. I just don't get angry in front of other people. On the day my divorce was final I tossed my emerald cut diamond to a homeless guy, put my wedding gown in the Weber grill and set it on fire. So, maybe it's not so much anger that gets me going as it is insanity. And, Rum.

I've always been too monogamous for my own good. If I'd play the field my odds of getting flowers every Valentine's Day would be much better.

My shortest relationship lasted 5 months, 2 weeks and 4 days. I was watching the clock because Anne bet me $100 bucks that I couldn't make it 6 months with a male bimbo. The stakes were high and I can't stand losing.

Plus, Bob was fascinating. I just could not get over how incredibly stupid he was. I was so close to winning, but then he got a stomach ache and I handed him Alka Seltzer. He chewed the tablets without dissolving them in water. I wrote out the check to Anne while he was foaming at the mouth. For awhile, I thought I could look beyond his faults because he always picked me flowers.

There was a woman in my office who got bouquets of flowers all the time. Seemed like she had the greatest guy and I was green with envy. That is, until I met him. I remember thinking if that dude knows what Freesia is I'll be a monkey's uncle. So, I cornered him one day and asked his advice on florists. Turns out he's never called one and she was sending those flowers to herself.

That's the only real problem with flowers.
They're not all that pretty unless they come from someone you love.

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