Thursday, November 20, 2014


Most folks take one look at my blonde hair and instantly write me off as a blithering idiot. Like yesterday, when the Home Depot guy launched into a 10 minute tutorial on slab vs. pre-hung doors.

"I know the difference," I said, impatiently. Hoping to shut him up.

"You do?" He replied, more than a wee bit shocked.

It's always a surprise to people that I can handle most fixer upper projects all by my lonesome. I can wire my own light fixtures, install a door if I have to. And... I'm a ceramic tile expert. I am! Thanks to Hurricane Katrina.

My best bud, BK, and I, bee-lined it to the Gulf Coast, after the Katrina disaster, to volunteer with Habitat for Humanity. I even bought a brand new tool belt.
Habitat gave us a choice of projects. I chose roofing because I'm afraid of heights and I thought.. Hey! I can be a do-gooder AND fix an irrational fear ~ all in the same week! I was broomed from roofing duties in seconds flat. (Something about screaming bloody murder while I was up there. I guess it puts the other workers on edge.)
9th ward houses, after Katrina
Our next choice was ceramic tile ~ only because we had high hopes the interior of those homes would be air-conditioned. They weren't. In spite of the heat and humidity, we tiled a whole lotta houses in very little time.
Plotting a cowgirl theme for the new digs.
Sunday eve, I'm soaking in the tub, nearly in the dark, one candle burning. Not 'cause I wanted it to be all woo-woo and ultra spa-like. Because mine is the ugliest bathroom on the planet and it looks a little better in the pitch dark. But, it wasn't working. Even with that dim lighting treatment, all I could think about is new ceramic tile...

Me, being a ceramic tile expert.
And, then! The ultimate coinkydink. BK called and announced she was coming for a visit, arriving tomorrow afternoon. This is way better than a normal coincidence, because, you see, the gal lives in Italy. So it's a rare moment when she lands on my doorstep.

Oh, happy day! I thought to myself. Now how can I get her to put off the vacation agenda and devote every waking hour to fixing up my house?

Well, I didn't. We'z even-steven on ceramic tile talent ~ but she's way better at reading between the lines and figuring out my manipulation. However! I got a great dinner out of the deal. And, a manicure. And, a pedicure.

Plus! A renewed interest in making my bathroom pretty enough that I'll turn on the lights.

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1 comment:

Rose said...

I'm impressed at all your talents, Kate! I wish I could do more fixer-upper jobs all by myself, but I'm so mechanically challenged I have trouble even changing the bits in my drill:) I've been reading your last couple of posts, because I didn't realize you had moved. I hope you're enjoying your new home; I'm sure with your skills, that bathroom will soon be something you'll want to show off in the light. And I hope you find that bread pan:)