In My Window

Life, for me, it ebbs and flows. I'm up above, then down below.

That which doesn't kill you, will only make you stronger. My Dad used to say that. And, so do thousands of other people. (Personally, I think it's a load of crap.)

While I was racing around like that proverbial farm animal with her head lopped off, something magical was happening in my window. The snows up here, they last forever. In March, the grey palette of a too-long winter exacts a heavy toll.

I am regaining a sunny disposition, though, thanks to the heroic efforts of my pretty flowering friends.

Mean Full Moon

Scientists swear there is no truth to the idea that a full moon makes people nuts. I have always wondered just how much empirical evidence they need. Fights at work, people on edge, dogs and cats acting strange... First one friend calls, victim of a heartache, the following day another friend is dealing with the same darn thing. Lovers are dropping like flies during this particularly mean moon. Which is one reason why I'm laying low...

My neighbor talks to me of moons. They have names; I didn't know that. For instance, April is the Pink Moon. The last one was the Hunger Moon.

This one is the Worm Moon. Hiking underneath it, I think I know why. Worms like the dark and this one casts a poor light.

In winter, we take a snowshoe hike in the brilliant brightness of each full moon. Some nights, it's a riotous good time. Other times, it's a night when we need the companionship of others, but not the conversation. Heather is feeling lost and I have no good words to offer when life begins to unravel.

But, I know a place up there I haven't told anybody about. Not even her. A long, flat rock that doubles as a dining room table. I brought a big 'ole bottle of wine and we came pretty close to solving all the problems of the world.

Did you know?
Plants respond to the same gravitational pull of tides that affect the oceans. Just as the moon pulls the tides in the oceans, it also pulls the subtle bodies of water. Scientists may argue about it's effect on us but tests have proven seeds will absorb the most water at the time of the full moon - and germinate faster during this time in the lunar cycle.

Black-Eyed Susans

We were goofin' around on the slopes, today, when I ran into this guy in a yellow and black jacket. He was all upset 'cause I bumped into him and he fell down.

While he was hollering at me, I started thinking to myself... he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me...

Oh, I wasn't the slightest bit interested in him. It was the jacket that got me going. I started all my seeds this week for the Fabulous Daisy Garden that will pretty-up the ugly half of my backyard.

The yellow and black of his jacket reminded me that I had forgotten the most important 'Daisy' of all. The predictor of love and so much more...

Rudbeckia hirta is a Black-Eyed Susan that grows wild from British Columbia to the southern tip of Texas. It's an easy-going sun-worshipper that thrives on neglect so it fits perfectly into my garden plans.

Magnificent yellow petals with brilliant black centers make this one of my most beloved wildflowers. This evening, I squeezed 36 more pots onto my already over-crowded window sills. Each one filled with Black-Eyed Susan seeds. Maybe this is the summer I can pluck the pretty petals and resolve that age-old lover's question.

Lucky Charm

When we were having our nails done the other day, the guy working overtime on my beat-up gardening hands blushed and said, "You should have had many more daughters."

I get that a lot. And, I must say it's a little disconcerting when men my own age start acting giddy when she walks by.

Today is her birthday.

She had it planned out perfect. So, of course, it's falling apart at the seams.

There is a hard transition when it comes to growing a child. It's the day when a Spiderman Band-Aid doesn't do the trick anymore. The day she's hanging on the end of the phone, in tears, hoping for some wise advice. Most times, I'm making it up as I go along.

Our best talks have always happened in the garden. Flowers, I think, soften most anything. She'd sit in the grass while I was pulling weeds and slowly but surely open up to me about what was causing her pain.

On this day that she is officially an adult, I can only hope that I've done right by her. As right as she's done by me.

Because if she'd never shown up in my life, I'd be some dumb secretary in a crappy office building somewhere. I had no aspirations whatsoever until the nurse brought her into the hospital room and then crabbed at me because we put the diaper on backwards.

I have probably made mistakes. Hopefully, I've also made amends. What I do know is that she is now, and always has been, way more than my girl, my odd clone, and my best friend. She is my one and only lucky charm.

Happy Birthday, L. It will all work out. It always does.

* And, when things get crummy, you still have your Mummy.

Daisy Girls

The wind is blowing so hard today that it is snowing sideways. Which seems like a perfect time to hunker down and start preparing for summer.

It's seed planting day. Actually, seed planting should have happened 3 weeks ago but there just aren't enough hours in the days for all the things I need to get done.

Growing perennials from seed is something only weirdos (like me) and nurseries do. Why bother when a healthy, blooming perennial is only $4 at the garden shop? Because $4 can quickly turn into $400* if you have a yard the size of Rhode Island. So, I save my pennies for the exotic plants and start the easy ones by seed.

Come summer, these beauties will join forces with the Shasta Daisies (pictured above) to speckle my backyard with bright color.

36 Coreopsis:

48 Purple Coneflowers:

And, the happiest 'Daisy' of all - 36 Blanket Flowers:

* 120 perennial seedlings, 4 months of easy color, for the low, low price of... $3.57!

La Dee Duh...

How do you do it?

My Mother used to always ask that of me. Which, I suppose, made sense since she never 'did' anything. Though, in truth, she was a master of all the important things.

She never worked a day in her life. Imagine... going through life without ever having a job.

Sometimes I feel that all I do is work. Everytime I think I'm getting ahead I discover I'm falling farther behind. More than I can handle. Lots more than I can bear.



And this is how I do it. This is my backyard:

The phones are ringing. The emails are flowing in.
Clients are having a nervous breakdown. And, I don't care.

For two precious hours, every day, Bad Dog and I hit the trails. In fact we're so protective of this particular spot that we cover our tracks, when we sneak through the trees, so no one else knows it's there.

Because, honestly, Mom, I don't know how I do it. I know that I want to quit. I know that I can't.

And, I know that sometimes hiding in the woods and breathing the free air is about the only thing that keeps me sane.

Saves the Day

Dan and I have a long standing agreement and it goes like this:

IF we're so pathetic that we can't sucker anyone into marrying us by the time we turn 60, we'll merge our assets and embark upon a marriage of convenience.

I have to promise two things:
1) That I will never ever say that football is a dumb game.

2) If I ever feel like 'talking about the relationship,' I'll go talk about the relationship with one of my girlfriends.

In exchange, on 2/14, I get one of these. :-)

Lovers Always

On my wedding day, my brother gave me a beautiful leather bound vintage book, printed in 1899. It was loaded with sage advice on how to stay happily married forever. It didn't work.

Seems like every year around Valentine's Day I'm in the mood to read it again. Especially on a year when I'm pretty sure I won't be getting any flowers.

Tangled Web:
My ex-boyfriend is in Vail with his new gal and my 2 best friends (aka traitors.) It's a romantic double-date Valentines getaway and I suppose I should be mad about that but I'm not. She's a much better catch than I am. She has a rich Daddy, with a condo in Vail. What could be sweeter for a ski bum?

Where is your anger? My Mother used to ask that of me when I was going through my divorce. She wanted me to throw a fit but I just wanted it to be over.

I get angry sometimes. I just don't get angry in front of other people. On the day my divorce was final I tossed my emerald cut diamond to a homeless guy, put my wedding gown in the Weber grill and set it on fire. So, maybe it's not so much anger that gets me going as it is insanity. And, Rum.

I've always been too monogamous for my own good. If I'd play the field my odds of getting flowers every Valentine's Day would be much better.

My shortest relationship lasted 5 months, 2 weeks and 4 days. I was watching the clock because Anne bet me $100 bucks that I couldn't make it 6 months with a male bimbo. The stakes were high and I can't stand losing.

Plus, Bob was fascinating. I just could not get over how incredibly stupid he was. I was so close to winning, but then he got a stomach ache and I handed him Alka Seltzer. He chewed the tablets without dissolving them in water. I wrote out the check to Anne while he was foaming at the mouth. For awhile, I thought I could look beyond his faults because he always picked me flowers.

There was a woman in my office who got bouquets of flowers all the time. Seemed like she had the greatest guy and I was green with envy. That is, until I met him. I remember thinking if that dude knows what Freesia is I'll be a monkey's uncle. So, I cornered him one day and asked his advice on florists. Turns out he's never called one and she was sending those flowers to herself.

That's the only real problem with flowers.
They're not all that pretty unless they come from someone you love.

Fortune Will Smile Upon You

Fridays I have lunch with Jason. He doesn't know I'm having lunch with him. I just make it a point to show up at this God-awful Chinese place because I know he'll be there. And, the only way I know his name is because they call it out when his Kung Pao Chicken is ready. You might call him an imaginary boyfriend. I call him a welcome diversion on a boring afternoon.

For weeks, now, we've been suffering through the worst weather conditions imaginable: bright blue skies, warm temperatures, gentle breezes, happy sunshine... it is so miserably beautiful around here, I feel like jumping off a cliff.

I live in ski country and we have no snow. I have not called in sick, lying about an illness so I could go skiing, even once this year. (My employers are becoming suspicious of my sudden dedication.)

While the tourists are rejoicing ("oh, it's so warm!") I'm left pondering what this weather pattern will do to my world. High plains deserts get most of their annual moisture from snow. Without it, we'll be deadly dry this summer and that's what sparks the wildfires that can zip across the meadow and gobble up my house.

But, I don't need to worry any longer. After I got tired of staring at Jason, I went home and checked the weather report. My cookie was right. It's gonna snow tomorrow. And, that should save all the wildflower seeds laid bare by this crazy melt.

All Gussied Up

I even had my nails done. A French manicure. And, only gardeners know how mortifying it is to go into a nail place. Gardeners hands are happier than most, though they’re not very pretty.

When gardeners walk into a nail salon, the first thing they say is: that’s gonna cost extra.

But, it's a new year, a new me and I said I wanted to live different. So, I decided to hang up my overalls and comb my hair. Maybe even put on some lipstick.

My resolution was to start dressing and acting like a legitimate member of the female gender. And, hey, guess what. It works! I got a date in no time.

Apparently, putzing around my garden, hours late for a shower, is not the best way to attract a man. (Who knew?)

Could this be the start of beautiful friendship? We ordered a lovely bottle of wine... oysters on the half shell. Then, one oyster later, I’m violently ill and lying on the bathroom floor of the restaurant, mortified, with no idea how to get out of this mess.

Clearly, oysters and I don't get along. But, I have to say, he was a remarkable gent. He even called me the next day to make sure I was alive.

So, my advice, today, for the gardeners of the world, is to wear gloves and have your nails done. It's amazing what a French manicure can do for your social life.

Tip: Try not to throw up on your date.

* French manicures were invented to hide the dirt underneath your fingernails.
** Cucumbers are 90% water. They look great but a damp cloth has the same effect on puffy eyes.

Fools Rush In

I've got a friend who's in love with a wonderful guy. The interview process for that position is really quite simple. You take one look at the fellow and if you like what you see, he's got the job. Why bother checking references when you know in your heart he's the one? (I speak from personal experience.)

So, she's in love and you'd think she'd be thrilled, but she's not. Instead, she's dedicating most of her energy to pushing this thing forward on a ridiculously fast timetable. So far, he's compliant, though that won't last long and these are the times when it's just no fun being on the outside looking in.

It reminds me of my neighbor and his thousand dollar trees. After he built his house, the lawn team planted mature 40-foot trees so it would look like he's lived there forever. The trees died and so did his passion to fit in, because I noticed the place is up for sale.

Like it or not, life plugs along at a slow and steady pace. It takes 10 years to grow a garden. 20 years to grow a child. 40 years to grow a tree that will be around long after you're gone.

Sure, you can muscle that timetable. The flowers will bloom and then they'll fizzle. Some kids spend a lifetime searching for a happy childhood. A good, strong wind takes down a weak tree easy enough.

And, that's why I wish more people would appreciate the lost art of planting seeds. It's the process, not the end result, that makes life worth living.

Come summer, my little seedlings will get bigger and stronger every day. Then I'll spot a bud. The next day a flower. And, I will have savored every moment of nurturing them along the way.

Because in the end, isn't this what life is really all about? The ups and downs we experience, while quietly cultivating a beautiful thing?

Tips

• Start perennial seedlings indoors 12-14 weeks before transplanting.
• 16 oz. clear plastic drinking cups make ideal planters, allowing healthy root growth.
  
• Avoid anything with the word 'Jiffy' on it. Compressed peat pellets aren't as great as you'd think. For one, they're expensive. Plus the outer mesh bag doesn't decompose in the soil and seedlings quickly become root bound.

Bigger They Are, Harder They Fall

If a tree falls in the woods and no one's around, does it make a noise?

Darned if I know. But, I can tell you when a tree falls in the house it makes a horrible crash. Kind of like someone breaking in... Which is why I cowered under the bed covers for a good half hour, hoping my dog would bite the burglar and I could live to garden another day.

Uncle Henry is an African Milk Tree, one of the largest, most easy growing plants you can have indoors. In a sunny window, with weekly watering, Milk Trees will grow to enormous heights. Henry was about 14 feet tall and very top heavy so it's no surprise he decided to take a dive.

All is not lost. Milk Trees are incredibly easy to propagate. Make a clean cut on his tall branches. Place these cuttings directly into the soil and fertilize regularly for the first month. (Diluted 10-10-10 is best.)

As I Lay Dying...

Two things have always perplexed me about exercise classes:
1) Why we even bother.
2) Why we suffer in silence.

I started my new workout routine last week and I seem to be the only one crying out from the back of the room: Hellooo, I'm dyin' here!!!

Your poor house plants are probably saying the same thing. Try to show more compassion than the perky little brat teaching my body sculpt class.

January is torture time for house plants. Low light conditions and dry furnace air creates a miserable environment. Plus, they're probably freezing their little tails off if they're sitting on a cold windowsill when you turn the heat down at night.

Unhappy House Plant Warning Signs:

• Yellow leaves - Too much light, fertilizer or water.
  
• Yellow spots - Dripping water onto the leaves. (Water from below.)
  
• Brown leaves - Not enough water.
• Dry leaves - Lack of humidity.
  
• All of the above - R.I.P.
  

In high plains deserts, like the mountains of the Southwest, house plants love extra humidity. Try a double saucer. Set plants above the water line so moisture can evaporate upward, toward the leaves.

Tips:

• The darker green the leaf, the less light a plant generally needs.
• Most indoor flowering plants do better in cooler temperatures.

* As I Lay Dying is a brilliant novel of human suffering, written by William Faulkner.

Screamin' Deals on Cheery Bulbs

Hazel picks through sale tables to rescue suffering plants and give them a good home. I'm a sucker for that kind of stuff, too. Mostly because I love a screaming deal.

Amaryllis bulbs, after the holidays, are generally marked down to a dollar or two. They might look a little odd, since they're probably growing inside their boxes (they'll grow without water, soil or sunlight.) But, they're still perfectly good flowers waiting for a happy home.

Grab them off the sale table. Give them a drink. Come February, they'll reward you with gigantic, colorful blooms.

* Plant in peat moss mixture or set roots in water, securing bulb in a base of pebbles.

I Resolve...

My resolutions are simple in number and complex in meaning. I want to live different.

I want to be kinder to people and helpful to wildlife. Plant more trees. Grow more veggies. And, ignore the folks who lament growing old. Because age is a box people put you in and no good ever comes from listening to those who think you should behave this way or that.

The first thing I'm gonna do is take care of the birds. They're as confused as me when it comes to life's little problems.

Did you know they're not flying South for the winter? It's true. Winters are milder, now, so many species are staying put. And, that's where you come in. Because the winters aren't that mild. The weather is volatile and food is scarce.

Lend them a helping hand. Favorite foods for winter birds:

• Unsalted Peanuts - Europeans have been doing this for years. Maybe that's why they have so many pretty songbirds...
  
• Cracked Corn - If you're lucky, you'll recruit more than birds. Maybe even a moose!
  
• Fruit - Apples, bananas, anything you're planning to toss out is a welcome treat.
• Black Oil Sunflower Seeds - Most every bird enjoys nibbling on these.
• Thistle - a favorite for the little guys, finches, wrens, etc.
  

Did you know that people who donate time to helping others have lower blood pressure, live longer and live happier than those who just write a check? Volunteer. Take a risk. Learn a new trick. And, don't - whatever you do - go on a diet. Resolve to be fat and happy.

This is gonna be a good year. I can feel it in my bones.

* Suet is a favorite of the bully bird, Starling. Remove suet from your outdoor feeding area so smaller, well-mannered birds will come to call.